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G is for Gorey  The GashlyCrumb Tinies - You have a terribly wicked sense of humour and people are drawn to your wit. Children beware of the thin, pale man with the black umbrella! Which Edward Gorey Book Are You? brought to you by Quizilla Yeah, this pretty much sums it up for me. Link from Oblique House, who got it from Mixolydian Mode, who got it from Ballet Talk. The trail fizzles from there. Who was K again? 2003/11/28
Who'll stop the rain? Good thing I have a huge backlog of books to review this weekend. Otherwise I'd be going bonkers with nothing to do and a whole Internet which with to get into trouble. I finished my EPPIE Awards duties (I have two titles entered this year, and two FrancisIsidore titles are entered, too. Happy thoughts!), plus I read two books I'll be reviewing for Blether. Windrusher by Victor DiGenti is a forthcoming book, a nice story about a cat determined to be reunited with his young mistress after their forced separation. Self-Inflicted Hunting Arguments is more like a treatise, concerning biblical debates for and against hunting and eating meat in general. At this writing I'm working on the reviews for both; while researching for the latter book, I found this article on JPII's dream about cats. Right now I'm halfway through Island Games, a thriller about a man who goes on his honeymoon and discovers his wife has disappeared the first night. They weren't at Sandals, I'll give you that. This doesn't even put a dent in my TBR pile, plus there are some authors I've asked to e-mail me in December! I bought The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency last week; I heard some great things about it, and a friend loaned me The Crimson Petal and the White, which is about prostitution in 19th century England. Can't get into that one, however. The narration style is a bit distracting for me. I'm not one who puts down a book, so I might try this one another time when I'm in a better frame of mind for it. Malc doesn't get the opportunity to leisure read because of work, but he's tearing through Neil Peart's Ghost Rider, which I bought him for his birthday in June. Likely he'll get Lance's new book for Christmas, and that will be his 2004 read. Speaking of books, I'll be designing the cover for Pray For Us Sinners. I have a few ideas of how I want the cover to look, and have been looking over some great tips on writers' groups. One thing I read is that the author's name must be large enough on the cover to be seen from at least ten feet away, which makes sense. When you walk into a bookstore you should be able to see the author's name on the shelves. This, of course, precludes that any of my books will get that far. Maybe it will start with Sinners, who knows? Anyway, look later for sample covers. I'd like to get some second and third opinions. 2003/11/26
Can't blog. Turkey and "fixins." I do love those "fixins." For now, I'll leave you with a three chapter sample of Kevin Paglia's Adam Stone, a novel I edited for Whiskey Creek Press. Kevin is a CWAer, like me, and if you're into Christian science fiction you'll like this one. What the hell. I'll leave you with the worst album covers ever shot, too. 2003/11/25
More writing news When it rains, it pours. I have a second children's book assignment for the Catholic World Mission folks, on the life of St. Louis Bertrand. Bertrand is a patron saint of Colombia, one of the many areas to which CWM ministers. It will prove to be an interesting story to adapt. Wings has offered a contract for Pray For Us Sinners, too, the second Ash Lake book. Their projected release date is much later than I would like; then again, this way I won't have to push Pithed and Pray at the same time and go broke marketing them. More news as it happens. Bono knows Of course he would. He's the most powerful man in music. He can lift The Edge over his head without breaking a sweat. Bono sez: "People are sick to the teeth of processed and hyped pop bands. It is crap." Referring, of course, to American Idol and their ilk. Malc and I saw the promo for An American Idol Christmas last night. He turns to me and says, "Who the %$&* are these people?" He's really disappointed not to see It's a Linkin Park Christmas, Charlie Brown on the horizon anytime soon. Sick to the teeth. I like that. I plan to use that phrase regularly for the rest of the year. A bestseller, moi? Just got word that Dangerous Words ranked fifth among the Echelon Press Dollar Downloads for September. Not bad, considering there are more than thirty out right now. The romance titles are usually more popular in this format, which makes the news all the more encouraging. If you haven't read DW yet, it's only a buck and maybe a few hours of your life. Actually, I've been told it's a good story. Ronda Chervin liked it. Click on the cover to your right to order. 2003/11/24
Sex in the Kitty Sexual symbolism in Dr. Suess books, link via Shea Stadium. Calling Pat Robertson... Unconcious Mutterings via Luna Nina
Advent Resolutions Disputations has the right idea. Being that the beginning of the liturgical year differs from the calendar year, why not set some resolutions now? There's always room for improvement, regardless of the day. I do need to make some resolutions. Strengthen my prayerful life, be more conciousness of how my writing should reflect the gift God has given me (i.e. not to abuse it), be more considerate and charitable, think before blogging, think before commenting... Grandma got run over by a pack of wild turkeys Oblique House reports that's the Christmas songs are on the radio, and they're not going away until the 26th. In a way this is good, because perhaps my local classic rock station will lay off the 24-hour Elton John/Fleetwood Mac format (unless, of course, either of them has recorded Christmas and/or solstice records to run into the ground). In a way this is bad, because everybody knows before you delve into the carols you have to play "Alice's Restaurant" on Thanksgiving Day. It's an FCC requirement. At the very least give us Adam Sandler's turkey song. 2003/11/22
Viva Cristo Rey!  Tomorrow is the feast day of Blessed Miguel Pro, SJ, who was martyred during the early 20th century Mexican revolutions. I don't have a devotion to MP per se, but it would make sense for me considering Miguel had always been referred to as "God's Jester," a man with a great sense of humor who met a tragic, unnecessary end. Handsome man, too. I imagine he broke a few hearts when he entered seminary.
CWAer Ann Ball has written a marvelous biography of Fr. Miguel, as well as a children's book featuring him as a character. Not too long ago I wrote a children's coloring book on MP for a Catholic ministry. After a few miscommunications, they have the short manuscript and I'm hoping to see it published. I won't make any money from the venture; I've always wanted to try my hand at writing for children and this seemed like good practice. If it's accepted I'll write more. Maybe MP could become my new patron. Update: Just received word that the coloring book I wrote is in production. They're getting it illustrated, and transcribed as a radio drama! More details as they come. 2003/11/21
Kill your TV I might just do that myself after VH1C's Headline Act show tonight. Did a reality show cause a woman to miscarry? A European Candid Camera goes bad. Or maybe it started out bad. A Trivial Project  I wrote Murder Most Trivial a few years ago and submitted it to a number of publishers and agents. Received lots of praise, but no bites. Pissed and full of pride, I made it available on the Internet for free. Still is, check my main homepage, but with the advent of CafePress.com's publishing service I can now offer a print version using one of the two ISBN numbers I have left. I only wish initial markup was not so high, but because I'm such a nice lady I'm offering the print version for sale at cost. Just in time for Christmas, too. I probably won't do much plugging for this one, since the book is a year old and I have Pithed and Pray For Us Sinners to worry about next year. The free e-version will remain available for you cheapska-, er, eBook people.
That leaves me one ISBN to play with. I've been thinking about writing a sequel (the initial plan was five books for the Jason Greevey series, but that was before Ash Lake and Andy Farmer's Pithed), and I have an outline set. I might just do it. Wrong trio, Rock Hall! Hosers. Don't get me wrong. I like ZZ Top. I've seen them live, and they put on a good show. They're my 67-year-old father's favorite rock group. They put out some good songs about drinking and hookers, but I wouldn't consider them Hall of Fame material. Part of the criteria, I thought, was having had an influence on future acts. Whom has ZZ Top influenced? Kid Rock? This makes them worthy? You know I'm a big Beatles fan, and you'd think I'd be pleased to see George inducted, but you know it's 95% sentimentality, and it's an opportunity to cajole Paulie into coming to New York for the commercial-laden ceremony on VH1. It's also an opportunity for me to mention Dhani Harrison (remember the drinking game?). Would've been nicer if they had done this while George was still alive, he was eligible then. Bob Seger? Again, goes to the ZZ Top principle. Malc can't stand him, but said Seger put on one of the best concerts he ever saw. Yeah, he was a hit machine in the 70s and 80s, but where's the influence? Prince makes more sense, though I've never been a fan, but I think of all the acts this year Traffic is the most worthy of this honor. Next year Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem become eligible. I can't wait to see them take the stage in 2005 with Air Supply and The Monkees, the way current voting is going. 2003/11/20
Carmel Sundae links to this article on the latest in the Schiavo case. There is more reason to believe Terri was abused. This caught my eye in particualar: Michael wants Terri's body cremated if she dies, which would deny any chance the family has to validate a long-held suspicion. Now, I've been unclear on the Church's position on cremation, but Fr. Pat's site offers an explanation. Basically cremation is acceptable if it does not demonstrate a "denial of faith in the Resurrection of the body." That said, we pretty much know what Michael Schiavo thinks of the Faith, seeing as how he's blocked Terri from Communion and would not let Terri's priest visit her. Gee, I wonder why he would want her cremated? Burger Chef and Jeff would never have stood for this. Envoy Encore keeps us informed of a recent Carl's Jr. campaign featuring good ol' Hef. Carl's Jr., for you East Coast gangstas, is the Left Coast's equivalent of Hardee's. Envoy quotes Evangelical radio host Paul McGuire: "I have 100,000 friends that listen to me everyday," McGuire said earlier this week. "I am sickened when every time I think of biting into a Carl's, Jr. hamburger, I see an aging Hugh Hefner in his silk PJs. I literally want to vomit. I believe many of my friends will think the same way." Personally, since Malc and I have been on this new eating regimen, just the thought alone of eating a fast food burger, Hef or no Hef, makes me sick. I won't hazard to say that I'm slouching toward vegetarianism, but we have cut our meat consumption drastically, and Malc commented that I am looking thinner. I fell in love with him all over again. Sexualization of commercial products is certainly not a new concept, but I have noticed it is becoming more prevalent. Just last night we saw a commercial for a coffee machine that's supposed to put out a nice, aromatic cup in less than a minute. A woman is setting up the coffee while her nekkid husband waits in the bedroom, telling her to "hurry up." She whips off her robe, closes the door, and two seconds later she's back in the kitchen drinking coffee. Yeah, makes me want to run out and buy one of those things. 2003/11/19
It's 10:24AM Which means it's time for FM 99 to play that damned Linkin Park song again. Every day for the past two weeks. I can set my watch by their playlist. Is payola still going on in the radio biz? 2003/11/18
...and all that jazz! Victor needs to get on the stick with writing that St. Blog's musical. According to Curt, the Nunsense folks are five up on us - though the website plugs SIX different shows. I imagine these will be followed up with Nunsense: Crime Scene Investigation and Nunsense: Live at Budokhan. Better get to Ticketmaster. Don't pith me offth More details about Pithed: an Andy Farmer Mystery: I have accepted and signed a contract with Mundania Press to publish Pithed in eBook and paperback formats. I'm excited about this for two reasons: 1) Mundania offers their titles via Amazon.com, which will make it easier for the title to be ordered through other online bookstores and brick and mortars (it's not so easy with Saints); and 2) Mundania has Piers Anthony in their stable. It's nice to be accepted by a publisher with a "name" author - not to discount Highbridge and Wings, both of which have published some fine writers. Now, when I write my next query, I can mention that I have been published by Piers Anthony's publisher. Neat, eh? The story is set in Jacksonville, on the Westside. Unlike my previous efforts, Pithed is told in first person. I imagine quite a bit of work will have to be done to make the story sound more like it is being told by a middle-aged, male high school teacher. Hopefully in the next few weeks I'll have a date and an ISBN. Now, though, begins the arduous task of collecting reviews and back cover quotes. Having learned from successes and failures with Little Flowers and Saints, I hope to make a bigger dent with Pithed. If I do, I'll probably end up writing Deliver Us From Evil (the next Ash Lake) and Collared (the next Andy Farmer) at the same time. FADE IN KAT and MALC are watching TV when an Old Navy commercial airs. MALC: So the Nanny's been reduced to commercials, huh? KAT: The Nanny is on ten times a day on Oxygen. She probably doesn't have to work for the residuals. This is probably pin money. Has she had work done? She looks different? MALC: That girl singer is Li'l Kim, by the way. KAT: No kidding? She's wearing clothes. I didn't recognize her. FADE OUT I really miss the dog and that lady with the Harry Caray glasses. 2003/11/17
Bad Santa, no soup for you! A new movie showing Santa Claus as a drunken, foul-mouthed, sex-crazed conman has left executives at Disney Pictures red-faced...Disney chief executive Michael Eisner was reportedly shocked and angry with subsidiary studio Miramax. "Nothing appears sacred any more. This is just not in the spirit of Walt Disney," he said. I believe them. Clearly the spirit of Disney is backing anti-Catholic cinema. If Billy Bob were playing a priest in this flick instead of Santa, how much you want to bet this would not be an issue? My blogroll has gone all goofy. It all shows the same blog. I've removed it 'til I can get it fixed. Were they hacked? Update Now it appears to work again. 2003/11/14
Jane can no longer stop this crazy thing Read where the actress who voiced Jane Jetson has passed away. Didn't know The Jetsons only ran a single year in prime time. That can't be right. Seems like that show has been on TV since I was born, and we are nowhere near getting flying bubble cars and encapsulated dinners. 2003/11/13
Random TV observations Thanks to VH1 Classic, I know what Mungo and Jerry looked like, which was pretty much like everybody else in the early 70s. While watching MASH the other night (the ep with the UN visitors), Malc sez, "I didn't realize this twenty years ago, but Margaret was kind of a tramp, wasn't she?" Which got me thinking...so was the Fonz. Think about it. A different girl at Inspiration Point every week. That was supposed to be a family show. There are rumors ESPN is going to can Playmakers due to pressure from the NFL because of how football players and owners are portrayed. Malc used to work for the Miami Hurricanes and the Dolphins as a trainer, and says while the show is embellished somewhat, there are some truths portrayed, particularly where injuries are concerned. Not just with football - Malc once ran a cross country meet for UM on a broken foot shot full of Novacaine. He's told me some other stories that would make your hair curl. Malc heard on Tony Kornheiser's show that word on the street is the NFL's beef is with the finale, which concerns one coach's indifference toward a player's health. Wonder what the NFL had to say about the earlier ep concerning the quarterback's indifference toward a one night stand's abortion. I do hope for a second season, though. If the folks at the NFL doesn't like the show, they don't have to watch it. Frasier is on at the same time. Sneezin' and wheezin' Looks like NaNo so far is a no go. I've taken to writing every other day now due to my increased workload and Malc's various illnesses. Just when it seems we had the gall bladder thing conquered, now he has a cracked tooth which requires a crown. Tomorrow it'll be kidney stones, and Saturday the international space station will fall on our condo. I know I shouldn't joke about it, but that seems to be the natural order of things in our family. My nephew is not immune, either. He has to have tubes put in his ears to fix his hearing, which is at 1%. No different than what Malc had to go through when he was little, but I'm sure it's not fun for a one-year-old. At least they caught it early. I'll continue to plug away at Closing the Oxford, but it probably won't be done until December, maybe January. I think having finished Pray for Us Sinners so soon beforehand drained me a bit. I really need to cut to part-time hours, wish I could afford to do that. 2003/11/12
Malc was asking me the other day if Bill Clinton's Presidential Library was in business yet, and today I find this article which focuses on the inclusion of George "Sulu" Takei's memoirs. I'm not big on celebrity memoirs, but his sounds interesting. I think the best one I have read thus far is Kenneth Branagh's Beginnings. Rare book, but a keeper if you can find it. And this is our son, Del Monte Lively Yet another article on weird names people give their kids. I don't want to hear any priests complaining come time to baptize Dale Earnhardt Lively, you dig? En route to our 12th anniversary dinner (not marriage, but having been together twelve years total) MALC: Is the library closed? KAT: They shouldn't be. They're supposed to be open 'til 9 on Tuesdays. MALC: Looks closed to me. KAT: Maybe they changed hours for the winter. MALC: You really have to worry about a city where the mall stays open longer than the library. Funniest. Christmas. Movie. Ever? Victor implies it might be Elf. Haven't seen it yet, but it's going to take a lot to topple A Christmas Story off my list. 2003/11/11
2003/11/10
Unconscious Mutterings for Monday
Oops, they did it again This is not the way to resurrect Behind the Music, VH1, not with a profile on somebody who is younger than me and hasn't really done anything significant other than kiss a sub-par children's book author on national television. If you want to profile Britney, at least wait ten years when she's spent all her money and is reduced to working the lower center square in between Gilbert Gottfried and Kathy Griffin. I hope she's wearing earplugs when that happens. Personally I'd rather see a Behind the Music on Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. Animal's rampant womanizing alone better rivals the Motley Crue episode than anything Britney's done, and you can't tell me with a straight face that Janice and Floyd didn't have a thing going on, ifyouknowwhutImean. 2003/11/07
It's a bell tower kind of day That's the term I use to describe that feeling you have when nothing has gone correctly, and you just want to take over the nearest bell tower and throw things, screaming at the top of your lungs. Yeah, it's that kind of day. The only good thing about it? In two hours I can go home to bed and not get up until Monday morning. 2003/11/06
The Wine Shop Sketch John Cleese to host Food Network series on wine. Wine goes great with cheese, even Camenbert, no matter how runny it is. Quick! Unconscious Mutterings, link via Spacemonk.
The Ninth Simple Rule for Dating My Teenage Daughter Should I ever have one: take her to one of these contests, and I will have your testicles in a Ball jar, atop my television. Interesting this article about an event that happened in my own backyard should pop up while I was struggling to write this piece for b4G. I've seen these ads for "Girls Gone Wild." I seen these girls with hazy, drunken expressions popping off their C-cups and woo-wooing for the camera, happy to have the opportunity to act so liberating. Look at me, look at my t*ts, watch me celebrate my pride for my body. I'm happy with my body, too. The world doesn't need to see it like that. The world hasn't given me a wedding ring. And no, I'm not shaped like the Liberty Bell; I hold my own in a country that values stick figures on magazine covers. This is not a voice of jealousy, it's trying to be one of reason. "Girls Gone Wild" is not liberating, it's not the new feminism. It's exploitation, but you don't need to hear it from me. I have to wonder what kind of monetary compensation these girls receive, what rights they sign away before the bikini top ends up wrapped around a telephone wire somewhere on International Boulevard in Orlando. Is there any way to find this information, because I seriously doubt every single girl in these videos is receiving royalties. UPDATE: Having read the article sent by TS, I see that the ladies in these videos are compensated with tank tops. Tank tops! For exposing their skin, they are rewarded with something with which to cover themselves. The man who created this series of videos is a multi-millionaire and the girls exposed get tank tops, not to mention they run the risk of having these videos come back to bite them on their collected bared a$$es when college is over and it's time to find jobs. This is not the way to behave, girls. I know, I've done this myself. I've gone to Rocky Horror in my underwear, and I wasn't part of the cast, and tried to defend it as performance art. At least some RHPS casts are compensated with free admission and popcorn, I wasn't. To this day I pray nobody took pictures. 2003/11/05
Well, that's a relief Does your weblog own you? Of course, I haven't taken the "Does your DVD player own you?" quiz. Who wants to care? Didn't think it wasn't going to happen, eh? We have networks full of reprehensible people willing to cheat, steal, and humiliate to earn a fake millionaire's rose, we have people eating pickled snouts and earwigs, we have people hitchhiking the Gobi while screaming at their mothers, sisters, and life partners. All for a lousy buck and the opportunity to fulfill some exhibitionist fantasy. Now we have people vying to become the next Linda Lovelace. I can hear the horsemen approaching now. Next we'll have a cable channel devoted to snuff films. Please remember authors Max and Ariana Overton in your prayers. Ariana passed away last night suddenly. I knew them through contact with EPIC and other writing groups, and I've read Ariana's Trapdoor, which I enjoyed. May she rest in peace. 2003/11/04
If you haven't had the opportunity to buy any of my books yet, here's what you can do. Call your local Borders, Brentanos, or Waldenbooks now and place an order. Then, from the 14th to the 17th, use this coupon and get 20% off the price! Neat, huh?
2003/11/03
Woman talking on cell phone crashes car into cell phone store and is killed. I'd laugh if it were not so tragic. The article doesn't mention if anyone in the store was hurt, only that the driver wasn't wearing a seat belt (double whammy). Imagine if the girl had plowed a few pedestrians or shoppers along the way. You've heard me say this before, because all I see on the road are people fiddling with phones and the radio and whatnot, not looking at the road. My aunt was killed in a head-on crash sixteen years ago because the other driver had dipped down to find a cassette. I have to catch myself sometimes when I change CDs. No phone call is worth risking your life or anyone else's. Wait until you get home. If you don't like the song on the radio, turn if off and pull into Dairy Queen before finding a CD. Pittsburgh style! Father Shawn sez, next time you're at Waffle House: "Slide the scattered, smothered, covered, and topped hash browns in between the meat and the top bun." Yummy. Norfolk doesn't have a style. Maybe the good folks at PeTA can think of one. NaNo NaNo And so it begins. What you call masochism, I call a challenge. 50K words in a month, doable. Been done before, will do again. I'm cracking my knuckles, rolling my neck, and finishing my sit-ups. Got my fingers on ASDF JKL; , and I'm ready to roll. Kat's NaNoWriMo 2003 is open for business. Must warn you, though, this year it's different from what I usually write. You won't find the entire ms online, just bits and pieces. It might not make sense, but it's not supposed to. It's a first draft. They rarely make sense. Good luck finding your brain after you've visited. Only
 
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