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Life's like a movie, write your own ending...

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Innovation, a Milton Bradley Game

My former prof and writing collaborator Bob Stanton named a First Coast Innovator for his work with creative fiction at Jacksonville University. Insert promo for Dangerous Words here.

Friday thoughts

Brakes, Geddy, brakes!

I can't remember the soliloquy from Hamlet, but forever stuck in my head is the Crappy 80s Countdown from the Musak at the Outback last night. All morning long it's been we can dance, we can dance, everybody look at your pants. To think we consider Yeats to be a poet.

Jeff designed the "St. Bloggie" for the proposed St. Bloggie Awards. Looks a bit like somebody dipped Antonio Banderas in tempura batter.

First ish of LivelyWriter Reviews is live. Click on the link above to read.

Take one last good look

It's going to Locks of Love, probably this weekend if I can get an appointment.

Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner in War of the Roses were not options, apparently

Ahhh...You are Ken & Barbie as Aragorn and Arwen of
The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King.
Taken in Strider, er stride, your love will
likely last until natural death.

Which Ken & Barbie Couple Do You Belong To?
brought to you by Quizilla

Got this from Jeff, but Smock Momma of SummaMammas created the quiz. To my knowledge this is the second St. Blogger to create a quiz. Mine is below:

You are Paul's Grandfather!

Which Beatles Film Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I could be wrong. Any other St. Bloggers create quizzes?

Dancing queen

Agnetha is back! She was the blonde, BTW, though for a period of time both ABBA chicks were blondes. Never got their names right. I had always thought they were called Anna and Frida, but I think it's really Agnetha and Annafrid. I don't know, it's too early in the morning to ponder this.


Geddy Lee gets triple-dog-dared to pull a Flick (no, not pr0n). Funny video if you can download it.

Yes, the Lifeson moratorium is still in effect.

Glittering prizes and endless compromises...

and one big-ass coffee table book! All this can be yours if you correctly guess the most winners in my first ever Pick the Oscars contest. Watch for that little R registered trademark thingie, soon as I find my HTML cheat sheet.


The new Catholic Writers Online site is in soft launch mode right now. There is still a bit of discussion as to whether or not the Catholic Writers Association name should be kept, but either way this will be the new URL for the site. The logo can always be changed. One idea was to make the CWO the Internet chapter of CWA, but nothing is final yet.

Special thanks to William Ferguson of St. Linus Review for donating the URL.

Though it's only nine-thirty here, I'd say today's Get Fuzzy pretty much sums up the day for me.

All are not welcome

Publishers cutting back on newer authors to focus on the same old crap. In other words, they're not listening to what readers want but telling them what they want. Look for a lot a of authors to be selling out of their cars. Better yet, let's buy that aircraft carrier from eBay, put it in dry dock, and make it a bookstore.


Click to subscribe to catholicwritersonline

Mark Kwasny has decided to call it a day with the Catholic Writers Association. Familial responsibilities must take precedent for him, and we all wish him the very best. He had a great idea in the CWA, but as he is shutting down the list he has asked us to discontinue using the name.

In the wake of the CWA, a couple of us are setting up Catholic Writers Online with a new mailing list. Writers of the Catholic faith (and people who like to read Catholic writing) are welcome to join. Catholic bloggers, too - you do write, after all. The new CWO site will be online soon, once our domain issues are settled.

Good night, Captain

Well, ping-pong balls!

Warm fuzzies

Pray For Us Sinners is the perfect blend and balance of mystery, humor and history. Unforgettable characters and surprising twists up until the very end make this a must read mystery. ~ Karen Rinehart, Newspaper columnist and author of Invisible Underwear, Bus Stop Mommies and Other Things True To Life

Be sure to pay Karen a visit.

Send a Lively Valentine is having a sale of sorts. Spend over $45, get $5 off when you use the coupon code CPLUVSU. So, if you're over there browsing the Governor Schwarzenegger thong panties, you might want to stop by my LivelyBooks store and pick up some pretty things:

Also, you can still buy Murder Most Trivial and Schism in print.

My W2 form from one of my publishers arrived. At the rate I'm spending $$ for promotion, I should expect to profit from my books on the 12th of Never.

Of course, you can't sell a book unless people know about it. This may be the year I have to look into professional marketing. It scares me, though, because I always have this nagging feeling I'll be shelling out big bucks to have somebody Xerox my book and send it out to reviewers willy-nilly with no follow-up. You know, doing things I could do myself. We'll see.

Get your Passion tickets here. God's version of Fandango?

Malc said last night, during Monk, "Why does every crime show have to deal with murder and death? It's so morbid. There are other crimes."

He said this to his wife, the one who writes murder mysteries.

I love Dr. Strangelove, but I would not have thought to put it on a list of 100 movies recommended for children. I don't think I could have sat through it as a child. Sterling Hayden probably would have scared me to death.

I really would like to post more, and post longer. The weeks should be getting easier, you think, as more possibilities are eliminated every time Malc goes to the doctor. I'm convinced now that a mental block is preventing him from feeling good. It's almost as if he doesn't want to feel better (though he says differently), and I'm running out of ideas.

I'd like to write more, period. I have a few articles started, two aborted b4G posts, and I'm almost done with the debut book review newsletter. Have a few subscribers, would love more. Hint.

Got a new editing assignment for Whiskey Creek, a mystery at last. Not that I don't mind editing the romance novels, it's just that the well is running dry on ways to describe lovemaking. If I ever write a romance myself my couple is going to be suspended from the ceiling in gravity boots. What else is left?

It's never too late

First-time author publishes at 97. That's when I plan to take up sky-diving.

Difficult to translate

We just got back from seeing Lost in Translation. What a great movie. Nice to be able to sit in a theater and listen to a screenplay that's not saturated with variations of the f-word. We're still trying to figure out, though (SPOILER ALERT, avert your eyes if you haven't seen the movie and want to) what Bill Murray whispered in Scarlet's ear at the end of the film. Malc thinks he was asking her to hook up with him when she got back to the US. I had a weird feeling Bill wasn't going back to the US at all, that he was going somewhere else in Tokyo and asking her to meet him there.

From the What's Burning and Who's Dead Dept.

Author Olivia Goldsmith has died. She wrote The First Wives Club, arguably her best work. I read three others of hers which were trash, but they were the good kind of trash -- Jackie Susann trash that you'd take to the beach but wouldn't read on a bus for fear of being caught by someone you knew, thus leaving you to explain why you're reading something like that.

Ms. Goldsmith apparently died after plastic surgery, having a bad reaction to the anaesthetic. There is a scene in the film version of First Wives where Goldie Hawn is begging her plastic surgeon for another fix, whereopen he tells her if he gives her one more lift she'll be able to blink her lips. Almost ironic, her death, but I don't want to make light of it. I just can't understand why anybody would go through such a procedure. I'd think a trip to the Awful Plastic Surgery site would be enough for anybody to reconsider going under the knife, and having recently seen Calendar Girls, a film about a group of older women who posed nude for a calendar without thought to sags or wrinkles, I lean more towards the belief that I'd rather embrace gravity than risk looking like Jack Nicholson in Batman.

It's a shame. Goldsmith wrote trashy books, yes, but now we fans of trash are going to have to look to someone else for our fix.

My dream job

MAD Magazine is hiring!


Get the LivelyWriter Reviews Newsletter

I've read a fair share of books, and I continue doing so, reviewing for various resources. I thought, since not everybody knows where to look, why not deliver reviews via e-mail? I guess I was sort of inspired by And Then's post about looking for books. There are a number of good writers out there who deserve visibility, especially our CWA members, and every effort helps. You're welcome to subscribe if you are so inclined. This will likely be a twice-monthly newsletter - not so intrusive - and will start on 1/30, covering a variety of genres, save for erotica. You can e-mail me privately about that. :-0

Mark Shea's got nothing on me. Not only have I yet to preview Mel's film, I still haven't seen any online trailers. Blasted dial-up. Guess I'll have to stand in line in Dallas, where one theater is filling all 20 screens with the movie when it opens. Take that, Star Wars.

And in the dream I had last night, I was on a stage singing James Brown songs. I even had the cape and did the escorting off the stage bit.

Perhaps it's my subconscious preparing me for the next exciting season of American Idol? *shudder*

Bush promises new moon landing by 2015. Assuming Starbucks doesn't get there first.

I'm a collector's item now

Little Flowers is for sale at for over fifty bucks. Percentage of profit I plan to see: zip.

Next week: action figures with Kung-Fu grip and plastic Sgt. Pepper CD. Malc sold separately.

Jumping off the bridge with everybody else

Pholph's Scrabble Generator

My Scrabble© Score is: 26.
What is your score? Get it here.

via Michelle.

In the Bush...

Remember that song by Musique? It's in your head now, and it won't go away. You're welcome.

Songs for Bush, a new blog from the guys who brought you Schism and Lord of the Wings.

Still waiting for that Pink parody. I'm coming out, so get the GOP Party started...

In the home office...

KAT: Malc, how do you spell humongous?

MALC: I think it's h-u-m-o-n-g-o-u-s. Why?

KAT: I'm editing this copy and the spellchecker says it's wrong, but it looks like it's spelled correctly.

MALC: Did you check the Oxford?

Malc retrieves the Oxford dictionary.

MALC: It's not listed here.

KAT: What?

MALC: It's not here.

KAT: Maybe it was eliminated to make room for bling-bling and bootylicious. Does anybody ever say humongous anymore?

MALC: Can't you just change it to huge?

Strange currency they use in Middle Earth

Now you, too, can own your very own set of LoTR elongated coins.

I'm researching unique book promo freebies. I have 50 teabags with my book covers on them going to a conference in AZ; was thinking of getting coins with my URL, using ribbon and making bookmarks. We'll see.

Precious days

I stopped actively watching Days of Our Lives years ago; I still keep up with the stories on the Internet. Right now the character of Jennifer Horton Devereaux is newly widowed and pregnant. In true soap opera fashion, there's a trouble with the pregnancy, an unnamed, mysterious defect that could kill the mother if she elects to carry to term. According to the Early Edition spoiler for Tuesday, 1/13, Jennifer is advised to not think of her baby as a baby when deciding whether or not to abort. This is coming from Doctor Lexie, who is suddenly an OB/GYN and pediatrician after years of doing whatever for Salem Hospital (she became a doctor after being a cop, but I'm not sure of her specialty; did I mention Lexie's mother is a psychic?).

And I thought the current serial killer storyline was silly.

Sold my soul to the company store

I use for a number of things, mainly for book promotional gifts. You can buy Murder Most Trivial in print there (link's to your right), and I've decided to offer a few items for sale using the template for the proposed Pray For Us Sinners cover, since it's my own creation and I don't need third party permission. Through you can order greeting cards and a blank journal; both look nice, I think. If you go to the main shop page you'll see the stuff I've made up for promotion, which you're welcome to buy, too. I made the lunchbox especially to carry everything - business cards, books, etc. Makes an interesting conversation piece, anyway.

It's time to update my author photo. How about this one?

This is what we do to heretics at St. Blog's. I kid.

My article on the upcoming St. Linus Review is up now at

Still working on that Catholic romance fiction piece.

Speaking of Trek

Check out and their new online series, continuing the adventures of Kirk and the gang. I haven't been through the whole site, can't say if Kirk's going to sing.

They are considering scripts, however. I'll have to go through my fan fiction file and see if there's anything worth adapting.

If you know of a place where I can get bulk aluminum Miraculous Medals at a decent price, please e-mail me privately.

While watching TNG

It was the episode where Troi has the baby that grows eight years in one hour.

KAT: Why can't Geordi explain what's up with those spores in the transport? He's supposed to be an engineer.

MALC: Dunno.

KAT: He's in charge of running a galaxy class starship, and in every episode there's either rampant spores or a warp core breach that he can't fix. And he went to Starfleet?

MALC: You ever notice every time some piddly vessel fires a shot at them shields go down to 20%?

KAT: Hey, they're calling Wesley to the bridge. He'll press the F9 key and everything will be fine.

Gollum sold separately

Barbie of the Rings. I'd have a hard time stuffing her in her pink Corvette with that dress.

I'm shocked Curt Jester didn't think of that first.

The news that matters, because you know you want it

Baldrick Surrenders Dept.: Mr. Bean to play Voldemort in next Harry Potter film. They always refer to him as Mr. Bean, which is understandable but I always thought the Blackadder shows were much funnier. Would be interesting to see if Rowan plays it like Blackadder. I say, Potter, it is obvious you're a terrible wizard. I haven't seen anything so obvious since President Clinton arrived at his inauguration with lipstick on his zip.

For You Black and Blue Dept.: Harrison Estate Sues Doctor: if this is true, then I'm really disgusted, badgering a dying man for autographs. I wonder why, however, the family waited two years before doing or saying anything.

It's a Small World with Deep Pockets Dept.: Goofy sues Disney: if you ask me, this guy got off much better than other costumed folk. The year before my graduating class went to Grad Night at WDW a crew from a rival high school thought it would be fun to throw Mickey into the lake near Tomorrowland. The guy almost drowned in his suit. That high school was banned from Grad Night for the next ten years, I heard.

And yes, the Lifeson moratorium is still in effect.

Dear Hollywood, if you're out ideas you don't need to consider remaking a film when you can just rerelease the original. Besides, who are you going to find replace Dick Shawn? Jim Carrey? Hardly.

PS: you want new material, I got six books suitable for adaptation.

Your friend, Kat

Hip to be square

Dad goes in for hip surgery on Friday, same day as Malc's doctor's appointment. I think I'll call in sick myself and stay in bed. Nothing can happen to me there, right?

Everybody was Kung-Fu fighting

Nun gets black belt. Insert your own paddle joke here.

Warm fuzzies

"In PITHED, Kathryn Lively keeps us guessing as story events unfold in entertaining twists and turns told in prose sparkling with wit and unsentimental charm." - Robert Stanton, co-author of THE DEVIL'S ROOD (with The US Five) and VIEWS FROM A WINDOW (with Gore Vidal)

A little romance

I'm writing an article on Catholic romance novels. If you know of any authors or titles, please let me know.

Can I call a do over?

I'd like to say 2004 is off to a good start, but it could be better. At least I still have a job. Despite negative results on bloodwork and the CT scan, Malc still isn't getting better. Now he has an appointment with yet another specialist on Friday. "Prostate trouble" is now the buzzword in our house, and Malc's not happy. One of his professors had prostate cancer, and though the guy's still kicking after seven years Malc isn't buoyed. It's getting more difficult to keep up his spirits. This weekend we went to see Calendar Girls, thinking a comedy movie would do the trick. Wish I had known one of the major character's husbands dies of cancer in the first fifteen minutes of the movie. Eep.

And don't get me started on Alex Lifeson. I'm issuing a moratorium on commentary and links to mugshots (and websites selling his mugshot on thong underwear - yes, can you believe that?) on this blog until the first hearing at the end of the month. I'm working on a b4G post, tying it in with some other stuff. In the meantime, I have an article on The St. Linus Review going up on Catholic Exchange on Friday, plus I'm working on two other articles - one about Catholic romance novels. Gotta stay busy.

Book stuff

Once again, a request to go to The Preditors and Editors Poll and write in Saints Preserve Us, published by Wings at P&E has categories for sci-fi, horror, and "other." This would be the "other" category, since my book is a mystery novel.

Alas, neither Saints nor Dangerous Words made the list of EPPIE Awards finalists. There is some consolation, however, as Karina and Rob Fabian's Leaps of Faith, pubbed by FrancisIsidore, is a finalist for Best Anthology! Two years in a row - our first two years in the biz - we have had finalists. Also, Kevin Paglia's Adam's Stone, which I edited for Whiskey Creek Press, is a finalist for Best Inspirational Novel. So I can say I indirectly had a hand in two titles making the cut.

My pages at Mundania Press, which will publish Pithed, are nearly done. All I need for PR now is a cover. I won't be designing this one, but I had something like this in mind:

We'll see how they like it.

A vote for Kathryn Lively is a vote for the All-American Girl!

Please, please, please go to The Preditors and Editors Poll and write in Saints Preserve Us, published by Wings at

Only in my dreams

All right, you Freudians, figure out this dream I had last night:

Malc and I are in the parking lot of the Edgar Cayce Acension Research Center (not too far from me), and he's saying something about needing to be healed and that this is the place (I recall something about the ARE being "the center of the universe"; there was a reason Cayce set up shop in Virginia Beach, some kind of cosmic energy). Anyway, we get out of the truck and I'm holding an empty Mason jar (Malc says I need it "to hold the lightning" - ?).

At first we can't find the door to the building, but Malc finds it and enters. Before I can go inside I'm being held back by somebody. He has his arms around my waist and I can't move. I can only watch this string of people enter the building, and Malc is gone.

I woke up shortly after that vision, because our downstairs neighbor decided to blast his stereo at two in the morning. Malc didn't like my idea of countering by blasting my Weird Al CDs right back. He wants us to be liked.

When I did get back to sleep, I dreamed of something else entirely. I was in my brother's old room back in the house in Jacksonville, sorting laundry, and Lars Ulrich of Metallica was there. I don't even like Metallica. A tiny spider skittered across the rug and Lars screamed like a girl before I killed it. I'm wondering now if these two dreams are related somehow.

Only some random number days until Genny goes to college.

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::about me::

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::Christian book reviews::
::kat's book blog::
::Catholic writers::
::e-mail:: (remove [nospam])

::author of::
Saints Preserve Us
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Little Flowers (reprint in Dec. 2005)

::read my free e-book::

::contributor to::
Milk & Honey for the Hungry Heart
Saints of the Jubilee
Women in the Wild

::editor of::
Adam's Stone
Birds Do It (copy edit)
Caribbean Charade
Cutter's Woman
House of Cards
Irish Magic
Keltic Dreams (copy edit)
Keltic Flight (copy edit)
Murder Plus Five
Prairie Peace (copy edit)
A Precious Jewel (copy edit)
The Queen of Candelore
Renaissance Romp
Return of the Goddess
Rite of Passage

Second Chances
Trails of the Dime Novel
Wild Keltic Carousel (copy edit)

::fan fiction::
mild language and situations in some
Beatles/Drew Carey
QL/Drew Carey
QL/M*A*S*H 2



20th Century Pope: JPII
Aqua Teen: Frylock
Barbie: Harley
Beatle Album: Magical Mystery Tour
Beatle Era: Hamburg
Beatle Film Character: Paul's Grandfather
Beatle Kid: Dhani Harrison
Beatle Song: "Yellow Submarine"
Brady Bunch: Greg
Brideshead Revisited: Lady Cordelia Flyte
British: 32.5%
Boy Band: Beatles
Canadian: 33%
Cartoon Dog: Snoopy
Catholic order: St. John Bosco
Cheers: Norm!
Christmas Carol: Silent Night
Cocktail: Bloody Mary
Dante's Inferno: Purgatory
David Bowie: late 60s/early 70s
Decade: the 60s
Disney Princess: Belle
Drew Carey Career: Human Resources
Edward Gorey: Gashleycrumb
Elvis: 50s
Evil: 18%
Foreign Language: Italian
Founding Father: John Adams
Ian McKellan: Just Ian
Inner Sexy Cartoon Chick: Wilma Flintstone
Internet Addict: 45%
Iron Chef: Chairman Kaga
Jane Austen: Elinor Dashwood
Jedi: Knight
John Cusack: John Kelso
Journal Rating: PG-13
Led Zeppelin song: Whole Lotta Love
LifeSaver: lemon
Lone Gunmen: Byers
LoTR: Legolas
M&M: blue
Madonna: Soul
M*A*S*H: Hawkeye
Monkees: Micky
Movie for Me: Forrest Gump
Muppet: Fozzie
Music god: Sting
Narnia: The Magician's Nephew
Old Movie: Citizen Kane
Parrothead: True
Peanuts: Linus
Retro Girl: Seductive Pin-Up
Rugrats: Angelica
Simpsons: Disco Stu
Star Trek: Spock
Star Trek race: Human
Store to Loot: Mega Grocer
Three's Company: Janet
Tolkien Beliefs: Conservative
Ugly Prom Dress: 80s
US City: Atlanta
VW Beetle: Black
Whose Line?: Colin Mochrie
Wife of Henry VIII: Anne of Cleves
Willy Wonka: Veruca
Wodehouse: Bertie Wooster
Wrestler: Stone Cold
Writer: Mystery

The WeatherPixie