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American Greetings doesn't have a Dale Earnhardt Day card, otherwise I would have sent you one

Happy Dale Earnhardt Day! If I had known it was today, I'd have taken the day off; Kannapolis isn't far from here. Maybe next year. It would beat driving halfway across the country for Elvis's birthday.

But on Saturday there having a call for extras for the Dale Earnhardt movie. Tempting. It's been my dream to play third pit crew member from left.

Is there a full moon scheduled tonight? Everybody has an issue at work, and decided to contact me at the same time. I can only use the morning sickness excuse for so long. It's gonna be one of those rain cloud following me days. And I better not hear any news of a UPS truck carrying my 20th row Rush tickets crashing in a lake or something.

Jim Carrey, Bat Boy to receive the red hat

JPII wants Mel as next pontiff, thus sayeth the Weekly World News. As I understand it, any Catholic man in good standing can be elected pope, correct? So this idea is not too farfetched. Actually, it is, but wouldn't it be cool if Mel were installed and he came out on the balcony and screamed Freeeeeeeeeeeedommmmmmmm!

Well, better Mel than Tom Arnold, I guess.

Head-slapping moment Number 12. You know, my dad's from Kentucky, and he turned out okay. Bellarmine grad, ex-Marine, knew better than to feed his kids pot.

This is why I keep my wedding dress at my parents' house, because the strange thing is, Malc's lost so much weight he could probably fit into now instead of me (for obvious reasons). Malc wouldn't pose for pictures in it, though; at least, not until after he gets tenure.

Add another one to the prospective girls' list: Fiona. Malc was also looking at bizarre spellings of Irene, but I'd like to have a name that some elementary school teacher isn't going to constantly mangle somewhere down the road, which leaves out Siobhan. Nor do I want a name that rhymes with a body part or derogative term, so no Mulva, either.

Trust me, teachers are bad with names, not just for the first week but through the whole year. This one art teacher I had in high school could never get a classmate's name right. His name was deJesus (de-hay-soos). She'd call him duh-Jeez-sus or day-hoo-sis. Rumor had it she used to toke with the pottery teacher in the back storage room, but I don't think the two items are related. My maiden name was even more difficult to pronounce than his, and she got it right eventually.

He'll see everything... he'll see the big board!

My all time favorite movie, Dr. Strangelove, was on last night. I had previously thought I had seen this movie enough times to mimic it a la Rocky Horror, but last night Malc pointed out something I saw for the first time. In the scene where Dr. Strangelove is losing control of his wheelchair, you can clearly see the Russian Ambassador about to lose it. Don't know how I never caught that before, I must have been laughing too hard at Peter Sellers.

Anyway, here's some more mindless Strangelove trivia, in case you're ever on Jeopardy.

Well, Malc and I have officially joined the club: we have just come from seeing TPotC. I was still a bit hesitant, but as it turned out I held up better than I expected. To be sure, I watched many a scene through splayed fingers.

Like others who have seen the movie, I'm not quite ready to comment yet. I'm still digesting. I hope to post more, however, since we went to see the movie with one of Malc's students, who is Jewish. So it will be interesting to hear his perspective in more detail when we see him next. Malc, however, did tell me that seeing this movie has helped him understand better the Catholic position toward Mary, seeing as how she figures prominently in the film, which makes sense considering the director is Catholic. (Remember, Malc is a convert.)

The only question he had, though, concerned the scene with Judas before he hung himself, and the dead donkey. We had talked about it and wondered if the dead donkey was connected to Jesus coming into town on a donkey on Palm Sunday, and the donkey in the scene somehow symbolizes what was to pass later. I haven't seen any other comments about this (everybody's talking about that ugly baby), and am just curious.

Official proclamation

That wailing Evanescence song, after the 9,486,333rd consecutive airing on FM 99, is finally wearing on my nerves.

Welcome to the ring

Ecumenical Blog

Ethan Allen, feh

Let a Hobbit decorate your home with Middle Earth furniture

St. Blog's Parish Hall, coffee and doughnuts served.

No state names, dead presidents allowed

Everybody's asking, what are the names you picked? We have no idea. We had long ago picked a boy's name, Ian, but Malcolm wants to use the Scottish spelling of Iain, so that's still up for debate. We can't agree on a girl's name. I guess it's Malc's way of thinking that if we do, we'll have a girl, and he wants a boy.

So everybody and his mother is suggesting names, and we are finally getting around to a list. I know if it's a girl I would at least like to use Therese as the middle name, since the baby's due in October, and I'm sure we'll be close to at least one feast day. Malc's picks: Janice (after a student) and Caitlin (he likes the name, though last night a friend of ours begged us not to use it, as there are a billion Caitlins around).

My picks: Rita (as in Lovely Rita), Nina (I just like the name), and Linda (after my late aunt, but her son already named his daughter Linda). Though the way it's going now, I'm going to name baby Twix, because that's what I've been eating for breakfast lately.


So we have seven deadly Gilligans and seven deadly cheers, what about the Seven Deadly Simpsons?

Gluttony - Homer
Pride - Lisa
Anger - Bart (?)
Greed - Mr. Burns
Envy - I dunno, Smithers?
Sloth - Barney
Lust - Edna K.

Open for debate.

Aaaah! Getitoff, getitoff, getitoff!

Bonds hits the big 666. Man, what if he stays on this number forever?

So long as moves on before April 27th, then we can celebrate with free Ben and Jerry's!

Got a note from Penny Marzec about my Catholic romance fiction article. She says it has appeared on other Catholic sites, but a Google search produced nothing. If you see it elsewhere beside CatholicExchange, please let me know.

Welcome to the ring: Christus Medicus and The Pelianito Journal

Songs that belong in a blender

Top ten Worst. Songs. Evah. according to Maxim's Blender magazine:

1. WE BUILT THIS CITY - STARSHIP ( I totally agree)
4. ROLLIN' - LIMP BIZKIT (what, no "Nookie"?)
9. AMERICAN LIFE - MADONNA (never heard it)
10. EBONY + IVORY - PAUL McCARTNEY + STEVIE WONDER (My least favorite Paulie song)

My personal honorable mentions: "Genie in a Bottle," "Heartbeat" by Don Johnson, " anything Britney Spears ever did and will ever do, and that "Who Let the Dogs Out" abomination I had to hear every time a Norfolk Tide made a halfway decent play.

And yes, in all fairness, there are even one or two (gasp) Rush songs that come to mind. "Dog Years," from Test 4 Echo, anyone?

Something that's come to mind, thinking of an e-mail from a friend...she wants pictures of me throughout my pregnancy. I don't know why, perhaps to share in the experience since she's on the other side of the country, or perhaps for proof that I'm not lying.

It's made me realize, that after years of looking through family albums, I haven't seen many pictures of my mom pregnant. There is one from a long ago Easter where she's holding my sister (expecting my brother at the time), but you can barely tell she's showing. I don't know if it's just something that never happened, or that Mom didn't want her picture taken at the time. I can't blame her, vanity is a failing in all of us. I don't like having my picture taken at all, pregnant or no, and it ticks Malc off because he has nothing to put in his office. I suppose I should make an exception this time. Maybe one a month to show progression, but that's it.

Did somebody from Queen of Angels e-mail me? Your e-mail got erased accidentally. Please contact me again.

Warm fuzzies

Next time you're at the bookstore check out the May RT Bookclub magazine, now on the racks. Saints got a 3-star review on page 99, and my ad is on page 100. Also, Mystery Readers Journal published my article on writing Saints for their Religious Mysteries issue. That's subscription only, but it goes to 1500 readers so maybe somebody will buy it, or the mass market rights.

St. Blog's Parish now has a real life parish. Queen of Angels in Chicago is blogging! As soon as they get their code up, they'll be in the ring.

New to the parish:

The Black Republican
contrition in action
Mom to the Screaming Masses

More to follow. Ringsurf's being a pill today.

I spent half an hour last night trying to convince Malc that Julianne Moore is not the woman who plays Bob's wife in those ghastly Enzyme/Enzyte/Whatever commercials. They look nothing alike! Why would he think that?

Jetsons update

Only because there was a commercial on last night with George Jetson for some kind of dishwasher powder thingie.

KATHRYN: So when are we getting the flying cars?

MALCOLM: People can't drive the ones for the road. You think I'm getting in the air with those clowns?

Yeah, but where's my flying car, damn it?

Jetsons lifestyle closer than we think. We'll have to pay for it, of course, and right now I can't afford the Flintstones lifestyle in the state where I live. No feathered, talking garbage disposals for me, sigh.

What does the Kabbalah say about touching oneself onstage three miles from the Vatican?

Madonna is taking Fridays off during her tour to observe the Jewish Sabbath. Certainly an admirable gesture, if she is serious about her newfound faith. It hasn't stopped her from charging upwards of 300 bucks a head for one show, which is why we probably won't make the trip to DC to see her. I can see a middle-aged woman sing "Like a Virgin" in my vanity mirror for much less than that.

Via Oblique House, via somebody else.

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says....

Marylou was there; and there was mention of a mighty gang - from On the Road by Keroauc

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first? The Rush calendar on my cubicle wall

What is the last thing you watched on TV? M*A*S*H, the one where Radar keeps playing "Sentimental Journey" over the PA

What is on the walls of the room you are in? I'm actually in a cubicle, but I have pictures of my nephew, various work cheat sheets, my 30th anniversary Rush calendar, a Dilbert strip, a Get Fuzzy strip, and a Krispy Kreme flyer

What is the last movie you saw? Bringing Down the House

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first? A house

Tell me something about you that I don't know. I have a first edition copy of Dorothy Parker's Death and Taxes


Another thing I've learned about pregnancy is that it makes you ultra-sensitive to certain smells. Before I got pregnant I spent thirty dollars on Burt's Bees skin care products, and I can't use any of them now because they make me nauseous. Malc, who's allergic to everything, couldn't be happier that I can only use Jergen's soap. Perhaps this is God's way of helping new mothers to exercise thrift, that when this is over I'll realize the one-dollar bar of Jergen's soap was better than everything else to begin with.

A blessed belated Easter to all. We enjoyed a pleasant Mass and breakfast, then I slept for five hours until dinner. I was lucid in time to see Phil Mickelson finally win the Masters, though. Good for him. I've always rooted for Phil, a fellow lefty.

Saddened to hear about Weird Al's parents, may they rest in peace. Especially sad since they had recently become grandparents. I don't even want to think of losing one parent, much less both at the same time. Take note: if you think you need a carbon monoxide detector, get one! I bought one for my parents a while back, I can only hope they change the batteries in it.


MALCOLM and KATHRYN are watching television. A trailer for the film The Girl Next Door plays.

MALCOLM: I saw that movie.

KATHRYN: How could you? Is it even out yet?

MALCOLM: I saw it about twenty years ago when it was called Risky Business.

KATHRYN: You want to see this new one with Cedric the Entertainer?

MALCOLM: I saw that when it was National Lampoon's Family Vacation.

KATHRYN: Well, there's a new one with that lady from Greek Wedding where she pretends to be a drag queen.

MALCOLM: Victor/Victoria.

KATHRYN: Walking Tall, then?

MALCOLM gives her a funny look and leaves.

We listened to the baby's heartbeat for the first time today. I still find it difficult to believe something is alive inside me. I'm not putting on weight, my clothes still fit, but it's early yet. Seeing the smile on Malc's face was worth the goo I'm still trying to get off my abdomen.

Pregnancy makes women do irrational things. Some woman eat pickles with ice cream. I joined the Doubleday Book Club.

I reckon I'll stay on long enough to get the tote bag and the first year's worth of commitment books, then quit and join again so I can get another tote bag. That way I don't need to go out and buy a new diaper bag.

On second thought, let's not go to Chicago. It is a silly place.

Spamalot: the Musical is coming to Chi-town. My sister's trying to get me to go. I could probably use a good laugh after 4,000 hours of labor.

Thank you, St. Anthony and St. Joseph, for prayers answered, and to everybody who prayed on our behalf. We found our important thing. And, we're getting a tax refund for the first time in six years! What next?

Only some random number days until Genny goes to college.

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20th Century Pope: JPII
Aqua Teen: Frylock
Barbie: Harley
Beatle Album: Magical Mystery Tour
Beatle Era: Hamburg
Beatle Film Character: Paul's Grandfather
Beatle Kid: Dhani Harrison
Beatle Song: "Yellow Submarine"
Brady Bunch: Greg
Brideshead Revisited: Lady Cordelia Flyte
British: 32.5%
Boy Band: Beatles
Canadian: 33%
Cartoon Dog: Snoopy
Catholic order: St. John Bosco
Cheers: Norm!
Christmas Carol: Silent Night
Cocktail: Bloody Mary
Dante's Inferno: Purgatory
David Bowie: late 60s/early 70s
Decade: the 60s
Disney Princess: Belle
Drew Carey Career: Human Resources
Edward Gorey: Gashleycrumb
Elvis: 50s
Evil: 18%
Foreign Language: Italian
Founding Father: John Adams
Ian McKellan: Just Ian
Inner Sexy Cartoon Chick: Wilma Flintstone
Internet Addict: 45%
Iron Chef: Chairman Kaga
Jane Austen: Elinor Dashwood
Jedi: Knight
John Cusack: John Kelso
Journal Rating: PG-13
Led Zeppelin song: Whole Lotta Love
LifeSaver: lemon
Lone Gunmen: Byers
LoTR: Legolas
M&M: blue
Madonna: Soul
M*A*S*H: Hawkeye
Monkees: Micky
Movie for Me: Forrest Gump
Muppet: Fozzie
Music god: Sting
Narnia: The Magician's Nephew
Old Movie: Citizen Kane
Parrothead: True
Peanuts: Linus
Retro Girl: Seductive Pin-Up
Rugrats: Angelica
Simpsons: Disco Stu
Star Trek: Spock
Star Trek race: Human
Store to Loot: Mega Grocer
Three's Company: Janet
Tolkien Beliefs: Conservative
Ugly Prom Dress: 80s
US City: Atlanta
VW Beetle: Black
Whose Line?: Colin Mochrie
Wife of Henry VIII: Anne of Cleves
Willy Wonka: Veruca
Wodehouse: Bertie Wooster
Wrestler: Stone Cold
Writer: Mystery

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